Of Quidditch Dreams
by da-angel729
Summary: Katie Bell's dream was to play Quidditch professionally. With the Wizarding World at peace, she lives in the glittering world of the Quidditch elite. But when her life begins to fall apart, can she pull herself out of the darkness?


This was originally written for the **femgenficathon** at LiveJournal with the following prompt: _Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking _. --George Eliot.

**Disclaimer/Author's Note:** I don't own anything but the plot and OCs; the Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Thanks so much to **thevixxmeister** at LJ and **xxPhoenixRosexx** at FAP for the beta. I hope you enjoy it!

**Of Quidditch Dreams**

Her story made the front page.

It had been a slow news day, and the story on the front page of _The Daily Prophet _was horrifying in its simplicity.

**Quidditch Star Falls from Broom; In Critical Condition at St. Mungo's**

_Katie Bell, a Chaser for the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team, fell from her broom during a high-speed race about an hour before dawn this morning. The Department of Magical Law Enforcement is conducting an investigation into the incident, but no further details have been released. Bell is currently in critical condition at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries._

She was lucky to be alive, Katie knew that. She only had hazy memories of the night after the Quidditch game, but she remembered going to a bar, and having drinks. There was nothing new about that; the Cannons were a close team and the single ones usually celebrated their victories at a bar. She remembered accepting a race, but nothing after that until she woke up in the hospital bed three days later.

The Healers had fixed her as best they could, but they were not hopeful about her chances to fly again. They didn't say it, but Katie knew the Healers were not even certain she would walk again.

She had survived being poisoned, and lived through a war. Of all the horrors she had experienced in her life, none were as upsetting as this one. She had only ever wanted to be a professional Quidditch player, and she had become one. Was she now going to lose that dream because of a moment's reckless folly? Katie lie back onto the bed and closed her eyes, and wished she could cry.

------------------------

_She was walking along a path, surrounded on all sides by trees and the sun streaming down between them. It was peaceful, and quiet. Katie lie down on the soft grass, staring up at the blue sky, dreaming._

_"Wake up, Katie," said a voice she knew. A voice she had not heard in a long time. A voice she had not expected to hear._

_"Alicia?" Katie asked, her voice shaking. "Am I dead, then?"_

_Alicia laughed, and it sounded so young, so much like the Alicia she'd known, that Katie felt her eyes fill with tears. "No, Katie, you have something much harder to do than dying. You have to live."_

_"I don't want to live," Katie mumbled. "What is there to live for?"_

_"Your dreams, Katie," Alicia said, and her voice was sad." You're nothing without dreams."_

_"My dreams have already come true," Katie insisted. "I'm a famous Quidditch player, just like I always wanted."_

_"You have other dreams," Alicia said, "but you are not trying to reach them. Instead, you drink away your sorrow and pain over something you could not control." Alicia reached for her hand, and Katie let her have it. "It's not your fault that I'm dead, Katie. No one's fault."_

_"Yes it is," Katie wiped away tears from her face. "I could've saved you. I was so close. It's my fault you're dead, my fault."_

_"Katie, you must let go of the past. It's not your fault," Alicia said, starting to drift away down the path. "Don't follow me. You have to live."_

Katie sat up in her bed at the Norwood Rehabilitation Center, looking around frantically. She had not talked to Alicia, that much was certain. It had only been a dream, but it made her heart ache. Alicia was dead, and she certainly wasn't coming back to offer pearls of wisdom.

Katie looked around the room, where a few photographs stood against the plain white walls. Her parents. A picture of the Gryffindor Quidditch team her seventh year at Hogwarts. A picture of the Cannons, just after she joined the playing squad from the Reserve. Her wheelchair, and the crutches. The Healers had done everything they could, but she still had limited use of her legs.

After her fall, her teammates had insisted she seek help for what they called her "problem". Katie had given in, though she didn't think she had any sort of problem. So she drank, sometimes. So did everyone else. She was very upset about falling off her broom. She could barely walk, let alone fly.

Now, two months later, in addition to daily Physical Therapy sessions here at Norwood, she also attended alcohol and drug counseling classes three times a week. Katie had been reticent at first, but the Healer assigned to her mental health had insisted. Commanded, really. And Angelina Johnson, whom Katie still considered her friend, had done a guilt trip worthy of Katie's mother, using Alicia's death as her weapon. Katie wanted to hate her for that, but found she could not.

------------------------

Monday afternoon, after her Physical Therapy session with Brenda Moore, Katie went to her counseling class. It was a group class today, and the topic was guilt. Katie was not looking forward to the class, as Victoria Turncote wanted her to speak about Alicia and how she had started drinking.

When Katie arrived in the small room, she realized that everyone else was already there. Katie moved her wheelchair into her regular spot.

"We're going to begin today with our pledge," Victoria said, and obediently, fourteen voices chanted in unison.

"Today I will be better than I was yesterday. Today is a new chance for me to begin living. Today, I will no longer be afraid. Today I will face my feelings. Tomorrow, I will be whole."

"Excellent, everyone," Victoria said, smiling at the eight men and six women in the class. "Katie will be sharing her experience with us today."

Katie took a deep breath. She hardly ever shared what had happened that day, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. Katie knew, that after two months of counseling classes, that no one would judge her, but her reluctance was clear. Katie sighed, looked down at her hands. And told the story.

"It was the day of the "Last Battle," as they refer to it now. The summons had gone out to all those who committed themselves to the fight against Voldemort, and I was one, along with my friends Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson. The fight was at Hogwarts; the last stronghold of the Light, even though Professor Dumbledore was gone. It was chaos, and the fight went on for hours and hours. Finally, Alicia and I came near each other again. She was furiously fighting one of Fenrir Greyback's werewolves, and as I ran to help, a curse hit her. The Killing Curse, and nothing I could do. I couldn't save her. It's my fault, and I didn't kill the werewolf. Someone behind him did that, and I was left alone. Alicia lay in front of me, dead. All around me, people were dead, or dying, or screaming in agony. My mandatory training had included some Healing, so I started to help those injured as best as I could. I saved several Hogwarts students, but it didn't matter. I had failed Alicia and we had promised to protect each other," Katie paused, and looked around the room. Some of the group had tears in their eyes, but her own were dry. Katie did not cry, for it changed nothing. "After the celebrations ceased, and the world was back to normal, I resumed playing for the Chudley Cannons. We always celebrated our victories at a bar, and it was easy enough to pretend I was drinking for fun, when I was really trying to make the guilt of killing Alicia go away. If I had been faster, or closer, maybe I could have saved her, and then I wouldn't have to live like this, wanting nothing more than to forget everything. And the way I chose was by drinking," Katie stopped talking, her eyes wandering the room. There was no judgment in their eyes; no condemnation. "And before I knew it, one drink wasn't enough any longer. Then two, then before I knew it, nine weren't enough. The day I accepted the race, I was completely drunk. Why else would I have accepted a high-speed race in the middle of the night? I don't remember anything until I woke up in St. Mungo's," Katie wiped tears away. "Now, though, I feel as if I can finally start to forgive myself for what happened."

The ticking clock was loud in the silence of the room. Katie waited, head down, for someone to say something, but no one spoke. Cautiously, Katie looked up. Some of the group had tears in their eyes, and the majority of them were smiling at her.

"Katie," Victoria said, smiling, "I'm glad you were able to talk about this. As you can see, no one is casting blame."

"I know, Victoria," Katie said. "Hopefully I can stop blaming myself soon."

------------------------

_Katie sat on the sand, by the ocean. The water stretched as far as she could see, and the waves crashed against the beach. She was happy._

_"I'm glad to see the change in you, Katie," said the voice._

_"I'm glad as well, Alicia," Katie said, looking up at her friend, who was standing about three feet away, smiling at her. "I miss you."_

_"I miss you, too," Alicia said, her eyes twinkling. "We'll see each other again one day, just remember that." Alicia faded away down the beach._

_"I will, Alicia," Katie said softly. "I will."_

Katie woke in her flat. She knew she would not be seeing Alicia again. Katie had not cried for over three years, but she did now.

She cried for Alicia, who would never grow old, and the other young people who had died that day. She cried for herself, who had experience a lifetime in four short years, but most of all, she cried for her family and friends, who had seen her through the worst time of her life.

------------------------

_The Daily Prophet, _was, as usual, most obliging of Katie's wish to have the article on the front page.

**Quidditch Star Tells All; Press Conference on Thursday.**

_In a statement released by her agent on Monday, Katie Bell, the Chudley Cannons Chaser who had a flying accident six months ago, announced her retirement from Quidditch and said she has sought help for an alcohol abuse problem. _

_"I would like to announce that I am retiring from Quidditch as I am no longer able to fly. I would like to thank my fans and friends for their support and encouragement during the last six months, during which I have spent that time at the Norwood Rehabilitation Center in an alcohol and drug abuse program. It has been privilege and an honor to play Quidditch for the Chudley Cannons in the English Quidditch League. Any other questions will be answered on Thursday at two p.m. at the Chudley Cannons office._

The Chudley Cannons office was completely packed with reporters from various publications, including _The Daily Prophet, Witch Weekly, _and _Quidditch Monthly_. The room was noisy, and everyone was waiting for Katie Bell to come in.

Katie entered quietly, followed by the owner, the manager and the rest of the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team. They sat down, and the owner remained standing.

"One question at a time, please," she said, "and Ms. Bell will refuse to answer questions she's not comfortable with. Is that understood?" As the reporters nodded, she sat down. "Good. The floor is open for questions."

"Ms. Bell," shouted the reporter for _Quidditch Monthly_, "is it true that you couldn't walk until a few weeks ago?"

"Yes, it is, Mr. White," Katie answered calmly. "After falling from my broom, I attended intensive Physical Therapy sessions for six months, and as of yesterday can still only walk short distances without using my cane or crutches."

"What exactly was the nature of your alcohol problem?" asked Rita Skeeter, who indeed still worked for _The Daily Prophet_.

"I was a binge drinker, Ms. Skeeter," Katie said. "For those unfamiliar with the term, binge drinkers do not drink constantly, like those with alcoholism. Binge drinkers only drink a few times a week, but they drink until they can't remember anything."

"What made you become a heavy drinker, Ms. Bell?" asked a reporter from the back of the room.

Katie took a deep breath. This was the part she did not want to talk about. But as she looked around, stalling for time, she saw Angelina in the audience, smiling encouragingly at her.

"It was because I couldn't save my friend Alicia Spinnet during the Final Battle against Lord Voldemort. We had made a promise to protect each other, and she was killed right in front of me. It was guilt that I couldn't save her that made me start drinking, and then I couldn't stop."

The room was quiet, and the reporter for _Witch Weekly _said into the silence, "What do you plan on doing now, Ms. Bell?"

Katie smiled, and with a lingering sadness lurking in her eyes, said, "I'm founding the Alicia Spinnet Grief Counseling wing at the Norwood Rehabilitation Center, where I'll be working as a Grief and Alcohol Abuse Counselor."

As the reporters immediately started talking all together, Katie said into the microphone, "Thank you all for coming, everyone. Please, have a nice day," and exited the room.

Angelina was waiting in the hallway, and hugged her. "I'm so proud of you, Katie. Alicia would be as well."

Katie reveled in the hug, smiling slightly. Her life was back on track, and her friends had stood by her. "I know Alicia's proud of me. She told me," Katie informed Angelina as they exited the building.

"She told you," Angelina said skeptically. "Really?"

"Yes, really," Katie laughed, her heart lightened. "In a dream I had. Well, two, actually. But never mind that. Let's go, shall we?"

And the sun shone around them, bright as a brand new day.


End file.
